My roomate Shiela has come in. "Hi Shiela How was the day !!. Hope you had a good time. All of a sudden I feel so lonely and lost. Staring outside makes my mood even more dull".

Shiela seems lost in herself. I don't get a reply.Well so much for that. I couldn't make it home this time. I want to go back home so badly. The very thought of going back home is so refreshing. People always hustling and bustling around. The noisy streets the masala puri's at the beach. My favourite food used to vegetable noodles . I would get it for 5 rupees and I would relish it with a small bottle of coke you know the 5 rupees one. I can't believe I have stopped feeling sometimes.My life seems to have become an automaton one I can switch on and off.

Shiela "It was ok. Had a bad day. The other female working with me crashed the server . So have to go early tomorrow."

Well here was Shiela replying to me after a good 15 mins . Should I reply back immediately. Should I also make her wait the same way she made me wait for her reply. I was a trifle insulted when she did not reply to my question. Well I was so desperate to talk to someone, I was so bored so I said "That,'s really bad. What about dinnner? It's your turn to cook today?". I don't really like my roomate but I like the company . Feels better than staying all alone. I like the presence of another person beside me. Not that I cannot afford taking a separate house but just that staying alone here makes me a candidate for Bedlam.

There she goes again. Shiela again not replying. I guess I'll have to wait . So here I am penning my thoughts on paper. No one really wants to listen to me cry about my woes. My astrologer told me that I am prone to nervous and digestive disorders. Well I had a lot of digestive disorders back in India me being the type that used to eat each and every thing available on the road. I have had to become health conscious here because I guess no one sells junk stuff here. Half of my refrigerated grocery goes to the safedeposit box after expiry. Well I am at my nervous peak here. Talking like a mad cap to myself.

I take both my hands and press my eyes . I've always felt that as a reliever of headaches. I feel better after that. Many a times I take my right hand and rub it against my right eye. Become a habit but better than nose digging and nail biting mind you this is not a nervous disorder. This is a habit.

Shiela " I dunno I don't feel like it. I don't feel like doing anything ".

Well well Shiela, this time I understand you. Even I don't feel like doing anything. Lazy bones is opting out now. I think I should tell her a bedtime story. But I don't tell her anything. I just say "Ok I understand."

I rub my eyes again for hope that I will see something outside. It's dim as ever in foglight but there are some streelights shining among the bald trees. And some room lites. Cars passing by rather just one car passed by now. Well nothing different. I would sit in the window and pretend to study while I would count the number of rickshaws passing through the window. Or the number of trees planted on the roadside to pass time when I would go in a bus. All of a sudden I would be counting seriously and suddenly a lot of trees would show up and I would not be able to count . Well I dunno if you have numbered trees in your area alongside the road but I did and I would often lose count of the numbers.. Weird!.. I never do that here. I guess all I do is count money. My fingers spring up like on autopilot to log on to the bank website to check my balances. 4 sites I do the login and pranam the first thing in the morning….

More articles by Haritha Reddy

1. WINTER MUSE'S -1
2. WINTER MUSE'S -2 ...Mail me cards please..!!!
3. Let me do the Math … A narration.